Basic bar translations

Says:​

You get this one, next round is on me.

Means:​

We won't be here long enough to get another round.

Says:​

I'll get this one, next one is on you.

Means:​

Happy hour is about to end. Beers are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.

Says:​

Hey, where is that friend of yours?

Means:​

I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.

Says:​

What do you have on tap?

Means:​

What's cheap?

Says:​

I'll have a glass of house white. (female)

Means:​

I'm easy.

Says:​

I'll have a white russian. (female)

Means:​

I'm really easy.

Says:​

Do you have any sambuca?

Means:​

I want to make my friend really sick so we can all laugh at him in the morning.

Says:​

Ever try a body shot? (male to female)

Means:​

I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.

Says:​

Ever try a body shot? (female to male)

Means:​

If this is how wild I am in the bar, can you imagine what I'll do to you in bed?

Says:​

Can i just get a glass of water? (female)

Means:​

I am really annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.

Says:​

Can i just get a glass of water? (male)

Means:​

It's 6:00 am and I just stopped drinking half an hour ago. Hell, I probably spent half my paycheck in here last night, it is the least you can do for me.

Says:​

I don't feel well, let's go home. (female)

Means:​

You're paying more attention to your friends than to me.

Says:​

I don't feel well, let's go home." (male)

Means:​

I'm horny.

Says:​

Who's got the next round?

Means:​

I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.

Says:​

Excuse me. (male to male)

Means:​

Get the hell out of the way.

Says:​

Excuse me. (male to female)

Means:​

I am going to grope you now and blame it on the crowd.

Says:​

Excuse me. (female to male)

Means:​

Don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of my way.

Says:​

Excuse me. (female to female)

Means:​

Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You're certainly not all that, missy, coming in here dressed like that. And get your eyes off of my man, or i'll slap you.

Says:​

That person looks really familiar.

Means:​

Did i sleep with him/her?

Says:​

I don't have my ID on me. (female)

Means:​

I'm 16.

Says:​

I'm not used to these darts.

Means:​

I can't throw anything smaller than a pool cue when I am this bombed.

Says:​

I've had like 10 beers already

Means:​

I've only had 3 but need an excuse to behave this way.

Says:​

You go ahead, I'll catch a cab.

Means:​

I already lined up a ride home with your ex.